School of Life

It's hard to know where to start when each day seems to contain a similar amount of emotions, new information and learning typically experienced in a week. And, then there is the question of what to focus on: the macro picture of where we are and why (still in Joao Pessoa, still here for Lane to study with his teacher), the micro details (how the kids here make kites out of toilet paper and miraculously fly them in between a maze of electric wires, for example), or the emotions...oh the emotions! Perhaps I will start there as my emotions seem to be OVERLY present these days. And really, isn't it all (big picture, details, emotions) intimately interwoven anyway?

To be totally honest, I ,Flora, (right hand raised) have been struggling. And for those of you who know me, you know I tend to sort of sail through life with a somewhat magical amount of ease and serendipity. So, when the going gets tougher, I am quite out of my element, but certainly in the element of becoming stronger, learning (again) some fundamental life lessons, and one would hope, coming out a better person on the other side. Here's the deal: I hurt my back the night we left Portland by simply bending over in a somewhat twisted fashion. Yikes. This injury has kept me from doing yoga and/or dancing with the exception of Carnaval night (paid for it the next day). It was also kept me from carrying heavy bags (thank you Lane for all your schlepping the magority of our stuff), and from generally doing anything other than walking and sleeping for unusually long hours. So, this paired with my almost complete lack of understanding of the Portuguese language, has left me feeling, well, mute and still...clearly out of my comfort zone.

Feeling mute and still, we have been residing in the home of Lane's teacher for the past eight days. There are seven of us here: grandma, two teenagers, teacher, wife, and us...the gringos. Despite their generous hospitality, it has felt quite cramped, and well, awkward, considering I can't verbally communicate with them...lots of smiling, lots of "obrigadas" (thank yous). I feel a bit like a teenage foreign exchange student in her first week away from home, but thankfully I have my fiance with me this time around. However, my fiance has a very clear reason for being here involving many hours of classes everyday and amazing one-on-one time with his teacher. I, on the other hand, have been wandering around the house feeling a bit lost and with a little TOO much time on my hands...all very interesting considering how much I was looking forward to just "be-ing" here. How do you do that again?

So the lessons come everyday...how many times do I have to learn that what I focus on becomes greater? Feeling sad, homesick, cramped, overwhelmed, culture shocked, mute, still, isolated, etc...encourages more of the same. I have been drowning in these emotions at times over the past week, and it is only when I shift gears in my thinking (and doing) that everything feels lighter. And, thankfully, this shift is happening. I am meditating. I am learning how to play the guitar. I am reading, painting and writing. But more importantly, I am focusing on how lucky I am to be immersed so intimately in another culture. I am noticing things like Grandma's sparkling eyes and her deep contagious laughter. I am noticing the sweetness in how I was patiently taught all the names for cups (there are a lot by the way: coffee cups, wine glasses, beer mug...). And, so clearly, I am noticing how generous this family has been: sharing their meals as we all sit together three times a day, sharing their space as we have thoroughly taken over the teenage son's room, and sharing a glimpse into their everyday Brazilian lives: simple, loving, full of laughter. Really, the beauty of each day here (and everywhere?) is in the smallest moments and details, and in the loving kindness of people. So, what was I complaining about?? Wow, this is like a pep talk to myself!

OK, so in the midst of writing this blog entry, we actually went into town and rented our very own apartment, allowing my nagging American self and it's desire for my own personal space and some air conditioning to shut up. We move in tomorrow: the beginning of a new chapter...and with an ocean view to boot.

Here are some pics and a video.



Did I mention the orchid garden in the back yard or the movement studio attached to the house?
























Lane doing his homework.